The hug

To hug: to comfort, to understand, to empathize, to realize, to offer. The act of hugging is one of the most sacred interactions one can have with another being. It exposes the full vulnerability of both, or all, involved, and expresses the trust each one has for the other(s). It is not an act to be taken lightly. The hug is an act of culmination, or of initiation. It is a commitment. It is an offer, a request and at the same time a payment, free of obligation, devoid of debt, paid to fulfill a request for comfort, spoken or unspoken, conscious or subconscious. It expresses dependence. It is a symbol of relationship, momentary or long term, a symbol of love, agape, phileo, or eros, or all of the above. A single hug can change the course of a life, the power involved is extraordinary and as a wise man once said “with great power comes great responsibility.” In a hug is the potential to create or destroy, enlighten or depress. So take not this act lightly, but treat it with the casual reverence it deserves. Don’t let the hug be destroyed by these considerations, but do not give a hug without taking into account its potential, its power. Revere it, cherish it and take it not for granted.

The Pretenders

Culture today designates certain locations and time at which a variety of emotions are socially acceptable. There are the obvious ones, at or during a funeral one is expected to suppress laughter and keep the mood somber. At or during a wedding on is expected to share and contribute to the atmosphere of joy that is established by the happy couple. But then there is a far less obvious set of locations and times during which there are set socially acceptable norms by which those present are expected to abide. In public in general one is normal if they are happy or neutral, and even in the public environment there is such a thing as "too happy". When the question "How's life?" or "How are you?" is asked, the scripted, standard, acceptable response is "Good", nothing more, nothing less. If someone were to answer that question with a legitimate response that reflected their emotional state they would, in all likelihood, be shunned as an abnormal individual regardless of the positive or negative nature of their response.

Thus today in America we are faced with a nation of extremely skilled pretenders. Depression affects approximately 9.5% of the individuals in the United States, but you can be darn well sure that when you ask 100 people "How are you?" you aren't going to get nearly 10 that respond with "I dunno, I've been feeling kinda down lately" Why is this, it is because they are embarrassed, they are not supposed to be feeling that way, it's not normal. Their busy lives allow for the response "good" because it is what the other participant in the conversation expects and is prepared to respond to.

And so most of these 19 million Americans hide it, they put on their happy mask and go about their lives as if they were feeling as it is socially accepted to feel when if they just told someone and got hep they would find that more than 80% of the time if they just sought help they could be up and out of depression within two to three weeks. Different methods apply to different people, in some cases simply talking to a friend could make a world of difference. What is important is that the problem be addressed, not just the symptoms. So many people have become very skilled at disguising their depression for the sake of their social life.